re: Michael Jackson funeral: Magic Johnson: “Seeing MJ eating KFC was the greatest day of my life.”

MJ Funeral: bobbing dancing ring od back up singers!

MJ Funeral: Al Sharpton, “Michael taught the world how to love.”

MJ Funeral: Al Sharpton. “MJ changed culture.”

MJ Funeral: Honestly, I don’t know how MJ found the time to do all the things being attributed to him

MJ Funeral: Holy shit, did Al Sharpton just compare MJ to Jesus???

MJ Funeral: Now it’s fucking John Mayer. Now they’ve gone too far.

MJ Funeral: Oh piss off John Mayer you noodling wanker. Pretty poor. Is this the best they could do?

MJ Funeral: Oh Brooke, keep it together girl.

MJ Funeral: Brooke S: “His heart used to burst out of him when he laughed.” Holy shit, really?

MJ Funeral: Brooke S: Reading from the Little Prince, good choice, great speech.

MJ Funeral: Shit, Brooke Shields is awesome.

MJ Memorial: MJ’s favourite song: Smile by Charlie Chaplain, sung by Jermaine Jackson and his paint on hair.

MJ Memorial: Good job camera man, painfully and slow-ly crop out Martin Luther King III’s wife.

MJ Memorial: Whoops sorry, I meant his sister. Both got some great church preaching going on.

MJ Memorial: House of Reps represented by Congesswoman Shelia Jackson-Lee. Man in the Mirror riff, peace and good will.

MJ Memorial: Jackson-Lee compared MJ to The Good Samaritan. At least she didn’t go as far as Al Sharpton.

MJ Memorial: Tweeted too soon, slight suggestion he had a direct line to God. MJ is an “American Stry.” Indeed.

MJ Memorial: MJ’s got his own resolution in congress. Nice frame.

MJ Memorial: “He will be remembered forever and forever and forever.” At least don’t give away the TV rights next time.

MJ Memorial: Yeee-aah, Usher in the hizzy!

MJ Memorial: I hope he busts a move. Is it too much to hope that someone will moonwalk on stage.

MJ Memorial: Omigod. I hpe Usher doesn’t hump the coffin trying to bring him back to life. Laying a hand on the box wasn’t enough

MJ Memorial: that is a pimping outfit MJ. I want a purple hat like that. Old MJ video.

MJ Memorial: Smoky Robinson has eyebrows that look like hairy slugs.

MJ Memorial: I want to keep Smoky in a bed sit at the bottom of my garden so I can sup at the wisdom well.

MJ Memorial: closeup of Smoky, eyebrows are more like black hairy sperm.

MJ Memorial: Smoky: “My brother will live forever” presumably riding a purple flying salamander made of sunflower petals.

MJ Memorial: Singing midgets are great.

MJ Memorial: Wait, my bad. It’s some sort of celebrity child.

RT: @charltonbrooker: This is what the televised coronation of God would look like.

#MJ Memorial: Thanks kid. Now shine my shoes.

MJ Memorial: Kenny Ortega looks like the kinda guy I’d get to do my tax.

MJ Memorial: Guy singing in the chior looks like his grand-mother on his father’s side was an iguana.

MJ Memorial: Yah! It’s everyone on stage! Break down those barriers and shit.

MJ Memorial: Bruno flying in to finish?

MJ Memorial: Everyone who isn’t on that stage singing Make The World A Better Place is going to die in the apocalypse.

MJ Memorial: See, they’re waving us goodbye as they get on their UFO to Alpha Centuari. Bye!

MJ Memorial: Janet seems like the only one on stage who isn’t batshit crazy.

MJ Memorial: Inescapable truth of the universe: kids will ALWAYS fidget regardless of the occasion.

MJ Memorial: WHatever Marlon, John Farnham is THE VOICE. Don’t take that away from him.

MJ Memorial: Laytoya’s eyes remain hidden beneath a shadow of mystery.

MJ Memorial: Ok now I feel bad about the fidget comment.

MJ Memorial: OK that’s done, back to Ronaldo.